From Within So Without Part 1

If you bought a Ferrari, would you treat your new expensive car the way you treat your body? Obviously not, for most people, but the cheese burger tastes too damn good. That's how this post started, but first I had to go back to the beginning.

I smoke pot. If you read the post ("White Clouds") you won’t judge, but if you didn’t read it, or if you did read it and/or did judge, let me explain. Disclaimer: I am not advocating pot or not. This is MY story, and pot plays a role. You have YOUR OWN story, that may or may not involve pot. Here's mine.

In September of 2022, we were visiting my parents at their new lake house. I had been up in June to help them move in, but we were back to relax. It was our first day, and we arrived to beautiful sunny skies, a slight fall breeze in the mid September air, and a very calm lake calling our names. We all changed clothes, I was wearing a swimsuit with a short terrycloth white cover up, with navy blue trim, a high collar and long sleeves that my husband generously bought me. We jumped on the boat for a late afternoon boat ride, and arrived home happy and feeling connected.

In great moods, we all set to work cooking dinner. I am very picky about my steak, so I prefer to cook it. I turned on the grill, and thought I saw it start, went back into the kitchen, grabbed the steaks, went outside, and it wasn’t lit. So, I turned it off, and went back inside to let the gas dissipate. The sleeves on my cover up were dolman style (slightly wider at the bottom, kind of like a wide leg pant for your arms), so I decided to change into something sleeveless. It was an old, black, spaghetti strapped black dress that I loved to lounge in; long and loose, but still flattering. I think I had owned the thing for 20 years, it wasn't tattered or anything, but it could only be worn as a house dress (Oh, the days of quality fabrics)! I also calculated my cook times for various temperatures, put my hair up and went back upstairs, to cook the steaks.

We are from the midwest originally, and it only takes a few minutes for gas to dissipate on a back patio, without a screen. A screen's holes are small and a gas molecule is larger than the hole, so it does not dissipate in a screened in area, unless you actually vent it to the outside. Crucial information I did not know at the time! The porch where the gril was, was poorly designed from this standpoint. It was a small rectangular room (10'x4'), as you faced the house from the balcony moving right to left there was the grill, a sink/cabinet and a door into the laundry/pantry hallway along one side, turn left and there was a wall with a door into the kitchen, left again and you face a screened wall with a railing in front of the grill/ behind the griller, left again and there's a screened wall the width of the wall/ door that goes into the kitchen, with a railing. The room was probably 10' by 4', and it was on the second floor; I say room, because the screens made it a room as far as the gas was concerned, and there was no way to vent the room, not even a hood, except into the house, and Thank God, I had not left the door into the house open when I came back inside to change.

As I walked outside to go back to grilling, I passed my mom and dad sitting at the kitchen table which was just inside the door from the grill, and said to my mom, "I'm having trouble lighting the grill, will you help me?" She immediately got up to follow me. I stepped outside in to the still summer, but turning to fall, night air in the South Carolina mountains. It was warm, but not hot, the sun had just set and it was on the darker side of dusk, the cicada's had started their symphony and the frogs were just warming up. It was a clear, perfect, night. Because of the screens, the gas had merely fallen not dissipated, so I did not smell it. I lit the grill and suddenly I was on fire! My face, my arms, right hand, my hair, my feet even, the only places I was not burned was where my favorite black housedress was covering me. Apparently, I shrieked, loudly, I do not remember, but my husband heard it and nearly knocked a pan off the stove in his haste to come over to my aid. My dad, at the kitchen table, just inside the door from the kitchen to the grill area screamed and, I heard "GET ICE! DAMMIT ! GET ICE!" I don't remember all the details, even how the fire went out. I was in a panic. I do not even remember what I was thinking.

I did suddenly have this amazing sense of calm and a voice said, "It's going to be ok."

I later found out that my mom, having followed me outside to help light the grill, was at the door to the kitchen and immediately ran out and pulled my dress over my head to put me out. What quick thinking on her part!

I have to admit, I do still miss that dress!

I had only been on fire for seconds, but had second and third degree burns all over my whole right armpit, arm and hand, parts of my left arm, my whole face, including my nose, lips and ears, chest and neck. In a daze, my mom led me back into the kitchen, where my father, now with ice and towel in hand, started soothing my burns. I was in such a daze and with the peace and the voice, I thought I was already ok and could go back to cooking dinner! Boy, was I wrong!

I don't remember much after that in detail, it comes in snippets, or pictures, not full memories. Like one of those old slide machines, the pictures aren't old, just the way they are presented to my memory. I remember all modesty goes out the window; I was stark naked in my parents kitchen in front of my parents, my husband, and my cousin, Roger, and I did not care. Then was so uncomfortable head to toe and needed so much ice that was melting so fast all over the floor, I think my dad decided to put me into a cold shower. I remember chunks of my long blonde hair falling off of me and washing down the drain, and thinking "Oh, My hair!" Exactly as of Goldie Hawn said it in the movie "Overboard", when she fell over the side of the boat. As soon as I got in the shower, my dad started running a cold tub and putting ice in it. I got into that, and someone got the idea to put vinegar into the tub. DO NOT DO THAT IF YOU EVER GET BURNED. In fact, what you should do is immerse the burned area in cell quest, but I did not know that at the time. I got out of that tub and ended up in the other tub in the house, which is downstairs.

I do not know how long I was in the tub before the paramedics got there, but when they arrived, they were clearly unprepared for what was before them! I mean, after all, who sees what someone looks like after they have been a roman candle, sitting naked in a tub of ice water? I do remember them gawking at my naked disfigurement, and not caring. My family did, and the local parmedics were ushered out of the small bathroom, and into the next room to call the Augusta burn center. BUT, not before they gave me drugs for the pain.

Luckily, I want to say really shortly thereafter (but at this point I was drugged), there was a helicopter landing on my parent's front lawn. In the ice cold tub, I was now starting to shiver and get hoarse. I remember, exiting the tub a few times to warm up, but only being able to stand being out of the water for a couple of seconds at a time. What a quandary, hypothermia, or excruciating pain, who knew, hypothermia would be the choice? And I had a high pain tolerance before this, and I was on pain meds!

The new paramedics wrapped me in one of their blankets, strapped me to a chair/cart, gave me some more drugs, and then checked my hoarseness and throat to make sure I had not breathed in the flames! I had not thought of that! Many people breathe in when they get burned! Oh, how awful!

They then hauled me out of the house. I have had this blankie since I was a baby. I have kept it with me my whole life. I asked Tom for it and he ran into the house to get it for me. I marvel that that blankie, made it the whole trip and I still have it!

At some point, I became horizontal, and they loaded me into the helicopter feet first up by the pilot. When I say up by the pilot, I mean my torso was by the pilot, my feet were forward, beyond his flight instruments and controls. The helicopter was modified; normally the controls, go across the whole front of the dash. In this case, they only went across half, and where they would normally go, there was a cavity, where my feet went. The two paramedics sat behind me, one to the right of me behind the pilot, the other directly behind me. My head was practically in his lap; I could look directly up at him. I asked him his name. He said "Kyle" and I said Thank you for being here for me, Kyle." Then, I said, "Kyle?" He said, "Yes Kristin?" And I said.. "Will you hold my hand? I'm scared."

With my left hand which was not burned, cradled in his, he said, "Don't worry, I gave you ketamine, you will not feel anything within minutes." With that, we lifted off for Augusta Burn Center, a 45 minute helicopter ride away.

References:

Cell quest - They may have gone out of business, but cell quest is derived from the young (unflowered) banana plant. The polyphenols at that point are extremely high and can do things like kill cancer and heal burns. If you are interested in buying cell quest, I would call them. (877) 565-5566