White Clouds

In honor of Father's Day, I thought I would write a lesson from both of my parents, but this one was made memorable for our family by my dad.

When I was little, my parents were very creative in how they disciplined me and my siblings. If you read the “About”section you know I was not told "no" until after the age of three. I was disciplined, but my parents turned bad behavior into teachable moments. You also know the story of the doll I named, Stephanie, before I even earned her, and how my mom creatively diverted that temper tantrum, as well as some of her other excellent lessons and the ways she taught them.

My father is equally creative in all things and together they are a dynamo; a true spiritual union, like they have been together for millennia, but just reunited from a decades long separation in any moment. My parents are a true love story.  They are truly Yin and Yang when they are humming, and what they accomplish together at those vibrations is truly breathtaking.

They also turned common lessons or household chores into games, and they would often come up with short sayings that had deep meaning. For example, at the dinner table, one day my dad developed the game of "Table Head"; that person would take great glee in “catching” my parents and anyone else at the table making a manners mistake. For every transgression you had to do 1 pushup or 10 situps. Needless to say, after every family meal everyone was exercising, except the Table Head! It didn’t go on forever; when you are Table Head, you learn the manners quickly, and vice versa. So while short lived, it was effective. It was fun growing up in our household. We were and are a tightly knit group, for the most part (no family is perfect, and we aren't either, but I only remember the good stuff). It was a happy and fun childhood. We all love being around each other. 

When I was a tweenish age, my mom was reading A Course in Miracles (ACIM), and as a child, whenever we went on road trips (which with a family of 7 on a limited budget, meant all our travel in those days was via road trip), my mom would sit in front and read to my dad during the day and I would sit in front and read the map (this is before the days of GPS) at night. This mostly consisted of me and my dad talking about everything from what song was on the radio and who sang it, to his business and contracts to the history of everything including money. Fond fond memories. So as my dad heard the words of whatever book my mom was reading to him by day and weaved together stories of history for me at night, there were always these side analyses, where he would go off on a tangent about the things you’ve read about in previous posts. 

In any case, my mom wanted to teach her small children, early, the thought principles of ACIM. On one of these trips I imagine sitting in the backseat (in the daytime lol) while my parents discussed what they were reading, and my mom saying something along the lines of “How do you simplify this to embed it in children?” And my dad said, “white clouds” and so a saying with deep meaning was born.

ACIM teaches many things but mainly that your thoughts create the reality you believe in. Life is a self fulfilling prophecy taken to the utmost extreme! There is a saying, “Your thoughts lead to your words, your words lead to acts and the sum of your acts, defines the whole of your character." In the character you create, you create, either heaven or hell for yourself on this earth. All starting from thought.  Your thoughts are powerful, they are just boomerangs, angry ones lead to angry bumps for you, not your enemy. Happy blessings upon others, even upon your perceived enemies, leads to blessings upon you.

So the key to whether your time on this planet is perceived, by you, as heaven or hell, starts... with your thoughts. 

Do you think thoughts that are kind or unkind? Do you think thoughts of criticism or acceptance even if a person is mistaken in your judgement? Do you think thoughts of how others are simple or stupid and need to be “taken care of” i.e. controlled? Or do you understand that every soul on this planet is writing his or her own story? Do you understand that you only get to write your own story? The one you think, say, or write about another (even what you think they “should” do) is just that, a story you made up in your head. In fact, your thoughts about you are probably a story you made up in your head. Through your thoughts, you write your story. What story are you writing?

If you try to write another's story, you are first, not busy writing your own. Second, you do not get to write another's story for them spiritually, no matter how hard you try; and in the trying you devalue your own cosmic worth.

Do you compliment or complain?  Do you condemn others for their “sins” in your eyes or in the name of a judgmental god that has been interpreted for you by big religion (trust but verify)? My dad used to say “”The four horsemen of your apocalypse are Criticism, Complaining, Condemning and Controlling of others and yourself." Your biggest miseries and sadnesses will come from trying to control what you cannot; from trying to criticize what you could not possibly understand, i.e. the thoughts of others or their words or deeds; that is what the prayer of St Francis (my father's favorite) is about.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

We all grow up with a particular world view, what if someone’s parents raised them to be satanic, or in a cult, or what if they were severely abused? How could you then criticize them when you have not walked a mile in their shoes, nor they in yours? Worse, once you have criticized someone for their appearance, words, behavior, or beliefs, do you go further and condemn them? Or do you first seek to understand them in order to understand their disillusionment and help them correct their error in a loving accepting kind manner? Or even admit that it could be you, who is wrong? What is learned in emotion is hard wired, why do humans hard wire fear and pain into our children? 

A few years ago My parents got a puppy, Sherlock, and shortly thereafter had to go out of town. I got the puppy while they were gone, along with an amazing trainer, Allie. She ONLY rewarded good behavior NEVER scolded or even acknowledged bad behavior. She would redirect it, to be sure, and as soon as the dog was behaving she would reward the good behavior. Why do we think humans should be trained or learn differently? If you teach with a stick and fear, you might get obedience but you will also get fear, resentment and discord. If you only reward the behavior you want to see and ignore the bad words, or even bad behavior, especially if you start at a young age, what kind of super humans could we create together amongst each other? Do we have the telepathy of ants? The ability to grow back limbs, or the abilities of a myriad of other creatures in the wild? Have we merely forgotten? Or stopped teaching like our ancestors did with their languages when they came from a foreign land to America? Do you respond more to love, acceptance, kindness and gentle guidance from someone who truly has taken the time to understand your perspective? Or a dictator?

My husband was raised by his grandmother. She never hit or "punished" him. She taught him right from wrong, rewarded the good behavior, and when he was bad, which was not often, she would take her time in responding, and she would think about her reaction before reacting in anger. In the meantime, she would make him wait. Not in an unkind or punishing way even, she would say "I need to think about this away from you, so we cannot be together right now". She would let him go play and do his normal activities, but in the back of his mind he was always wondering. This wondering turned out to be the worst punishment altogether. He rarely misbehaved because he did not want to worry. Because she had taught him to be honest, he had time to run through all of his excuses and lies before landing on the truth of the matter and where he was at fault. When she finally did talk to him, he had come to understand and be able to elucidate what he did that was wrong, and had a clear picture of how he would do better in the future. He came up with the solution to his own problem.

My dad built a very successful company from nothing but an idea and a lot of hard work. He learned it was not only more effective, but more fun, to grow his company by finding what grew his employees. He also found what grew his employees grew his businesses and was really cooperative and amazingly fun for everyone! People still call me to tell me how much they loved working for my dad in those days! In the process he put the principles of ACIM to work and he found the more he thought good thoughts of others, the more they grew into those visions. And the more he did that with his immediate circle the more they did that with theirs. And the more everyone was was happy, successful and cooperative; the competition was the team of the company cooperating to beat the big city firms, not the cut throat competition of today that is within a company itself. Everyone won. We should have that in every town in America, in every state and in the nation itself, cooperation. That starts with YOUR thoughts.

The reverse is also true. There was a study done - I wish I could find it, but I read about it a long time ago. The participants were broken into 2 groups: the first group received a journal and they were instructed to write down, at the end of the day, everything they were grateful for; the second group was to write down all their disappointments. After a mere 6 weeks, the first group did swimmingly, they advanced in their careers, love life, family life, really all aspects of life improved for them. The second group, however, was a disaster. They lost jobs, loved ones, even a life. There was so much loss and destruction that the organizers had to cancel the study. I never understood, why they didn't just give the second group the same instructions as the first group so they could turn their lives around? Imagine though, that the key to happiness could be this simple? That it comes down to how you shape your waking thoughts about others and yourself. That a simple attitude of gratitude for whatever comes your way really can turn lemons into lemonade?

If you play a sport like golf, you’ve seen this happen with immediate consequences. In golf, it’s slow, so most golfers have a pre-shot routine. Your self talk and thoughts between shots are more important than the shots themselves. The shots are merely an extention of the thought you had prior to taking the shot. If you do your preshot routine, you hit a beautiful shot! Think "thump whack" and you get exactly that. So what is life? An extension of your thoughts. Are you thinking thoughts of love acceptance and peace, or the "four horsemen of your apocalypse"? Are you clearing the way for sunny skies with your thoughts, or are you thinking thoughts of "thump whack"? Your thoughts create your words your words lead to deeds, and the whole of your deeds are the sum of your character.  

My dad summarized all this into "white clouds". Whenever words came out of anyone’s mouth that were criticism, condemning, complaining or controlling (this also includes victim thinking and blame, or any negative thought, the "Four horsemen" is just another of my dad's mnemonic devices, to make it easy to remember, and also recognize), my parents, and eventually all of their children, would say "white clouds" in order to help us redirect our own thoughts to productive ones, and just like in my dad's business, it spread to our circles of loved ones and friends. 

As an adult, and having studied ACIM myself, I now know it’s not just about "white clouds", it’s about understanding that your negative thoughts have repercussions you do not want! Like a boomerang you eagerly throw to slay your enemy that only comes back to hit you smack in the forehead! The second you think that negative thought about another, you invite that thought upon your own head. So now my friends have added another layer to “white clouds”. Whenever one of us is indulging in the "four horsemen of our own apocalypse" we remind, eachother to return to Christ's path with the words of encouragement of my father: “white clouds.” And if that doesn’t work we say, “boomerang”! 

You Give What You Receive

"Do unto others what you would have done unto you"

This really means what you give to others you will receive. This is not meant in the physical sense. God doesn't see the physical. What God sees is only love. This is meant in terms of your thoughts. If you think thoughts of judgement of others, you will perceive judgement of yourself, even where it does not exist. If you reject others you will perceive the rejection of others even where it does not exist. If you give love to others, and think only loving thoughts of others, you will receive love from others even where only a glimmer exists.

The "last judgement" is not God's; it is YOURS! Only when you stop judging yourself and others critically, will YOU be truly free.

My first boss, Cathy Miller Beers (what a great name, right?) was an excellent teacher, and she let me fail a lot! Each time she would pick me up and dust me off and ask me what I learned. She was one of my dad's first employees, I had known her since I was 5, and she was like an aunt to me. She died a few years ago and I miss her still. I asked her one day why she hadn't fired me. And she said, "Kristin, I choose to see the 99.9% of people that is good. When you do that continually, more good bubbles to the surface and do it long enough and the .01% that might be bad, goes away." (what a good student of my father!) We first need to do this with ourselves. See the 99.9% that is good in YOU. The thing you are beating yourself or anyone else up about, is in the past anyway, and therefore no longer exists. It only exists in your mind as long as you keep it there. So, let it go and focus on the good instead.

So, one would logically conclude that in your spiritual journey on this planet, the enemy for your spiritual, and perhaps even physical growth, is negative thought in any form. "The four horsemen of your apocalypse, are Criticism, Complaining, Condemnation and Control." What you give to others not physically, but in terms of what you think of them, you give to yourself. "Do unto others what you would have done unto you." really boiled back to it's essence, if deeds stem from thoughts, means... Think of others, as you would have them think of you.

The first time Newt Gingrich met Reagan, Reagan told all the congressmen the following story: The parents of two children were perplexed because no matter what they did the two children would not change, for one was an optimist and the other a pessimist. So the parents decided that for Christmas, they would give the pessimist a room full of everything the child could possibly want. And they would give the optimist a room full of horse manure. On Christmas morning the parents first went into the pessimists room, and the child was sitting in the middle of the room sobbing, expecting to see him ecstactic, the parents were alarmed and asked the child what was wrong. The child wailed as he explained to his parents how each toy would be either stollen, lost ,swept away in a hurricane or destroyed in some other way. Dismayed the parents shut the door took a deep breath and opened the door to the optimists room. This child was running around yelling "yippee" and digging through horse shit! The parents, again dismayed, asked the child what he was doing. The child exclaimed “ With all of this horse manure, there’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”

Reagan was telling this story to demonstrate optimism vs pessimism, but if you are the parent, which child do you want to give more to? What if God is the parent and you are one of the children? based on your thoughts words and deeds, which child are you?  No matter which child you were even in the seconds before you read this post, you can change your thoughts in an instant! Continually do that and you eventually change your words, and your deeds and hence your character. Use my father's saying of "white clouds" to gently remind yourself that you do not want these ugly thoughts, and guide yourself to "white clouds" instead. And if that doesn't work think "boomerang", because you do not want those ugly thoughts coming home to roost on your doorstep! "White cloud" thoughts lead to sunny skies and smooth sailing, dark thoughts lead to dark clouds, and stormy waters. Which one do you want now? The choice in every moment is yours. As we saw in the study above, a mere 6 weeks of thought change can turn your life into heaven or hell.

Further, just like my father with his employees, you teach what you believe, and bring others along with you on your path. Will you teach only love, understanding, gratitude and encouragement of others, or are you teaching them the four horsemen? What you teach is your legacy. As my husband says, "Do the right thing and drive the ball up the middle." Put blinders on to what others are doing or saying (even about you, and focus on your thoughts. It is said that we become like the top 5 people we hang out with. Be a leader in your thoughts and have those around you become like you, not the other way around. YOU lead by the example of who YOU are, which starts with YOUR thoughts and words and actions. Will YOU be a leader in the Great Awakening? Or will you allow bad things to befall you, because you did not control the one thing you can control...your thoughts?

What if this life is a simulation, and indulging in the Four Horsemen, just means, you are playing the game wrong?

Resources:

A Course in Miracles pdf- https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/41/A_Course_in_Miracles_Text.pdf

ACIM audio this is an app that only works on your phone, but it has all three books: the Text, the Manual for Teachers and the Workbook for students. To truly embody the content, you must do all three. It gets easier as you go along, but in the beginning can be difficult as you eschew thoughts you once believed as you realize they no longer serve you, or if they ever did at all. If you want this app, open the link from your phone. I love the audio because I can listen to it while I take the dog for a walk. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/a-course-in-miracles-audio/id6443662668